tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21924440341123473182024-03-12T20:49:23.264-07:00Khoj-This quest, this need to solve life's mysteries—in the end, what does it matter when the human heart can only find meaning in the smallest of moments?Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-74805084884980876032012-10-25T14:08:00.000-07:002012-10-25T04:56:57.141-07:00VICIOUS CIRCLE - Story.Every inch of her body was perspiring. She was laboring hard to dance in harmony with every single music beat. Every single emotion was fake. But she felt contented inside for she was visualizing the accomplishment of her younger brother.<br />
<em>"He must be receiving his degree at any time now", </em>she was thinking and this thought alone was giving her constant energy to dance on the stage.<br />
<br />
<br />
This stage was the most important part of her life for it had acted as a mean to all her aims- the bread of her family, the wedding of her sister and the education of her brother. Though she never liked the fact that she was a ‘B-grade’ stage dancer but, without any other choice in her life, she had learnt to live with the image of a dancer reluctantly. But for everyone, around her, this image was totally unacceptable. These were the people who, despite being her close relatives, offered no help to her family after the death of her father. Instead they advised her mother to marry her to a dying, old man, for his money. So seeing the selfishness of those around her, she had stopped caring about them or what they say.<br />
<br />
The memories of her first audition had always stayed with her. She could literally recall every single step she took from her doorstep to the cheap theatre. She silently fought with those filthy, yearning eyes in public transport for which the innocent agitation of a 18 years old girl was a source of fun. She ignored the dirty way in which the play director stared at her on seeing her for the first time. She felt deeply ashamed and worthless at all the dirty jokes and dance moves she was asked to do for audition. But she had to clear the audition at any cost and she did it at the expense of her modesty and chastity.<br />
<br />
Time moved on and with the passage of time she became cold and insensitive; and started focusing on the responsibilities she had. But still she managed to gain the respect of her colleagues - a result of her dedication and hard work accompanied by her decency and reserved attitude. She was successful in getting her sister married after eight monotonous years of hard work and struggle. It was the happiest moment of her life. But still she knew she had to go on for the education of her brother and so she continued her work with dogged persistence.<br />
<br />
Four more years flew away and she turned thirty. She felt so old and tired after years of hard work. She longed for doing what every girl wants to do for she had sacrificed it all for her family. She missed having proper sleep, watching movies, attending marriages, having conversation with her mother, walking on the beach, counting the stars at night, eating oranges in the sunshine of winters and other things like that. The list of her appetencies was endless and, on occasions, it created ripples in her otherwise calm demeanor.<br />
<br />
It was autumn's another sad day. Her brother was leaving for the job he got in another city.<br />
<br />
<em>"Aapi, I'll send you the money order every month. From now on you really do not need to work because that money would be enough for you and Mama ",</em>He said.<br />
"You just take care of yourself.", She hugged him with mixed feelings of happiness and sadness. And he left her feeling carefree and without any burden.<br />
<br />
She was still astonished with the fact that she had managed to achieve all her goals.<br />
<em>"Daddy must be happy up there! Yes Daddy, I have received your hug", </em>she said to herself with tears in her eyes.<br />
<br />
Sipping the tea she planned to furnish her room. She decided to buy things just for herself and made a long list on coloured paper with the glittering pen. She was giggling and singing and dancing. But this time it was all just for her own soul. She looked into the mirror and felt beautiful. She looked at her eyes which were glowing of excitement and she thought about the desires and dreams she had. She decided to be selfish, very selfish from then on.<br />
<br />
“Finally I can do all the things that I wanted to do”, she thought.<br />
<br />
But at that very moment she heard someone at the main door, from her sister's in-laws, tell her mother that her brother-in-law had died and her sister is returning to her home with her three children. Suddenly all the money that her brother would send did not appear enough to support her mother, sister and her sister’s children. Looking at herself in the mirror, she felt herself hollow from inside.<br />
<br />
<em>"So! What now?", </em>she asked herself.<br />
<br />
Soon she was tearing her retirement letter into pieces. She has realized that she is in a race in which everybody was running in a 'vicious circle'. No matter how fast or slow you run, you are always going to reach the identical point again and again!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>-END-</strong><br />
<br />
January 2007.<br />
Zaofishan Qureshi.<br />
-------<br />
<br />
I would like to thank Mr. Arif Iftekhar for corrections .Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-3144865502991340172011-05-24T16:15:00.000-07:002011-05-24T16:27:18.896-07:00awake.....<p>Train was leaving the station..</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>I tried to open my eyes but all I could see was dim light of lantern held by the chana wala. I couldn’t understand whether I was awake or dreaming. I tried to stand up by holding the handle of the berth but I fell back on the seat and the person sitting next to me flashed torch light upon me..the light entered into deep waters of my conscience and I was startled after what I saw in that light.......I fell into darkness….<br />deep darkness of nothingness, a depth with no end but only beginning …depth of the beginning..I kept on falling deep into the roots from where my soul emerged…. I cried…I cried helplessly..I tried to open my eyes I tried to move my body…but I could not……from far away..along with faint sound of train's engine I heard a voice reciting something……haan haan!!!! Haaan !!!!!! It was a familiar voice… The voice of a man I adored ……….he was reciting something …..the same thing!!!!!!!!!!….the same words which he occasionally recited in the lawn in those magical moments between tahajjud and fajr...…under the sky!... and the sky in those beautiful sacred moments looked like I could almost touch it and grab my share of the blessings from the supreme creator….</p><p>in those moments of silence, magic, tears, passion, pleasure, contentment .....lying on the floor of my room beneath the window I looked at the moon hidden behind the willow tree…..as a child I always wondered why the moon hid behind my willow tree?...maybe I was special!!!….mom said I was a special kid…. But I knew I was special…I knew maria, tabassum, aisha, Vicky……everybody ....each and every soul in the world was special…. I knew that .... but I couldn’t say it back to her and I always smiled to make her realize that she is important her comments no matter how immature I find them, are important and she is the only woman I love ……she never knew that I was addicted to recitation of this man….this crazy man who.....God knows for what reasons woke up in the middle of nights and display a versatile range of emotions …he sings he recites he observes… he cries…. He smile….he smile and cries……sometimes this man the first love of my life ,sat there and wondered for hours about the glory about the artistry with which each piece of an insect was carved….he wondered and he wandered….he was always a wanderer …a soul from the wild….a poet who wrote like rivers flow...like the mountain goats playfully climb the highest hills..... but I blame myself for being a chain in his way of freedom..he wont let me go because I was his responsibility and because he loved me. I was the love of his life a love which I knew he would never ever express in words….…!!!!!! but he knows that I know!!!!!! He knows that I know that he wont say a word about it and I know that he knows that I truly understand his feelings and love him back with the same intensity.......so he wanders but not in a physical way now………..!!!! ,<br /><br />lying on the floor, I looked at the blue night the black tree and the round shiny moon hiding behind the willow tree……I never liked the moon for it reminded me of a melancholic feeling that I never experienced or that I fear experiencing …...it reminded me of a separation that I was denying for so long ….. it reminded me of gloom of sadness …it reminded me as if its the sole witness to a deep intense sad and passionate love story with a sad ending……..like a silent love story between a queen and a king...the king of east who deeply loved the queen of west but never expressed his feelings and the queen of west who understood each and every unsaid word of the kind of the east but thought that she might be a fool ..she might be wrong after all why would love an ugly lady like her? .....and on november's first night east and west fought their war and they killed each other and in those last moments where they could see their souls , they couldn't ignore the agony in each other's eyes ...and it was that moment!!! that moment within which they realized the truth.....!!!!!! and the moon was a sad witness...it couldnt do much except for hiding its face in the clouds..............so, moon reminds me of agony....I never loved the moon…….so here in my room lying on the floor beneath the window ....i remind myself that I don’t love the moon but it still looks at me like a mischievous child... half hidden behind a curtain and looking at me , craving for my attention….how could then I not smile at the moon? ….i smile at it and i smell the grass…the dew on the grass the fresh fog in the atmosphere …I inhale ..close my eyes and I hear him reciting in a low voice ………..</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>naala hai bulbul e shorida tera khaam abhi,</p><p>apnay seenay mey isi aur zara thaam abhi ...</p><p> </p><p>pukhta hoti hai aql maslehat andesh ho aql,</p><p>ishq ho maslehat andesh tou hai khaam abhi...</p><p> </p><p>apnay seenay mey isi aur zara tham abhi</p><p> </p><p>beykhatar kood para aatish e namrood mey ishq ..</p><p>aqql hai mehv e tamasha e lub e baam abhi</p><p> </p><p>apnay seenay mey isay aur zara thaam abhi...</p><p> </p><p>ishq farmooda e qaasid pe subuk gaam e amal</p><p>aql samjhi hee nahi maa'ani e paigham abhi</p><p> </p><p>apnay seenay mey isay aur zara tham abhi</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>……………………and with tears in his words I cry …I cry and I realize I am about to fall… about to fall into the depths of the darkness …….I hear him cry for me....!!!!! for his eldest daughter but I don’t open my eyes for if I fall into darkness maybe I could survive..... but if I open my eyes and look at his eyes ..i would be instantly shattered into a million little pieces ……never to be composed again.</p><p> </p>zau fishan…<br /><br />http://www.facebook.com/ZaufishanFayZau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-54840409263353071502011-05-13T10:54:00.000-07:002011-05-13T10:55:11.237-07:00Illusion<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> <p>I woke up but found myself in the same battlefield. My feet heavy and my soul drown into the mad river of my tears. Escape is never the solution so I decided not to sleep and slip into escape until I have the solution. There is no dead end of this emptiness and now I am sure of that so I can not wait for something to happen and lead me to the dead end where I change my path and walk away.</p> <p><br /><br />In quest of reality how far have I come. I look behind and all I see are faces lost in illusion with no sense of purpose with no sense of reality with no sense of identity, lost in a pool of denial and absurdity. There is not a single soul with whom I could relate to. I try to run away from them so that I couldn't lose my identity and I try desperately to run behind the soul who appears to be somewhat like me but only to find that it was illusion within an illusion...a trap within a trap. An illusion who was unaware of its own existence. An illusion carved with clay of truth.<br /><br /><br />So tired of running away and running behind. I sit down and recollect the memories. In search of reality I left every familiar soul and ran behind the one I didn't know a thing about except that it could lead me to reality. And here I am left alone with the past ..An achromatic past with a monotonous story of finding the truth and reality. A truth and reality which now is only an illusion. So, the past?..the memories?.. the struggle?... Useless. Now that past seem like an illusory island locked inside my head... A storm would be coming in this island and the sea wants to overflow but there is no key to unlock my mind and LET IT GO.<br /><br /><br />This is not my place and 'that' was never my place. The only reality that I have is myself. I know , only I know the phases I have been through, the illusion that lead me to bigger illusion which lead me to never ending series of traps. I am real but soon I'll be gone. I'll change so hard that mirror wouldn't recognize me.</p> <p><br /> For so long I believed it to be real and true. But even the heights of my love couldn't stop me from falling into the deep well of nothingness when the so called truth and reality unravel their self and laughed at me. For so long I fought with the mirror of myself to disapprove its point. But, I have only this one mirror so I went back to it to recompose my self to see the reality of situation but the mirror broke with a deep cut of hurt when it saw me shattered. Me and my mirror ..we cried and embraced our pieces for hours.</p> <p><br />The truth and reality is that nothing is eternal even if it is the quest of reality. So, hopes, wishes, dreams, illusions, ideas, success, hatred, beauty, pain, artistry, government, defeat, skill, fame, expectations, phases of love, tears of rejection, you, me, people....... nothing is eternal.</p> <p><br />One thing that lead me illusion is the denial of this fact.</p> <p> The only person in the world who should never ever betray, cheat, hate, defeat, lose , and lie to you is yourself.</p> <p><br />Why you expect anything from the people/world who are not sure of their own identity, who are not sure of the next step they are gonna take in their life. Why do you expect them to never cheat you? . Then the expectation is nothing but the denial of this reality : The only person in the world who should never ever betray, cheat, hate, defeat, lose and lie to you is yourself.</p> <p> When you don't fulfill your expectations you learn.</p> <p><br /><br />When others don't you get lost in illusions and hurt yourself.</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>13 may 2011</p> <p>10:55</p> <p>Zaofishan.</p> <p> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-14389920638038446602011-05-01T16:47:00.000-07:002011-05-01T16:49:28.695-07:00Identity<h6 style="font-weight: normal;font-family:arial;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size:180%;">I didn't want to hurt the people...so I repressed and denied my own identity and Individuality for so long. Nobody was hurt for sure. But, deep inside I suffer everyday and nobody came for me as I faked it pretty well. Somewhere in the process of injuring and healing myself I lost my own identity. Moral: You know better.<br /><br />- Zaofishan.</span></h6>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-22377470551784978142011-04-30T16:44:00.000-07:002011-05-01T16:50:24.607-07:00Dilemma...<span jsid="text">Love is blind and heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of. Its up to us to decide whether we stick to reason or madness.<br /><span> If a person analyze his/her madness with mind/rationality/intellect</span><wbr><span class="word_break"></span> than he/she is only going to see a self so naked and old with wrinkles of regrets, shame and guilt. Because this is what happens when we dissect madness and passion under our magnifying glass of intellect.<br /><br /><span>If a passionate/mad in love person analyze the reasons/intellect/rational</span><wbr><span class="word_break"></span>ity with a madness, what he/she only see would be a love without passion, a love that is so full of empty and hollow words that it would fill you with feelings of nothingness, emptiness and confusions.<br />so, its either mad love or rational love. The combination leads to a never ending conflict and dilemma...causing so much pain<br /><br />-Zaofishan<br /></span>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-34707791486979793052011-04-15T09:27:00.000-07:002011-04-15T09:28:41.224-07:00.....<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults ext="edit" spidmax="1026"> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout ext="edit"> <o:idmap ext="edit" data="1"> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">PAIN……….. PAIN…….. PAIN……….<br />Overworked…. Tired…. Sleepless …Hungry….<br />I tried to live in the moment…and in this moment I am crying my eyes out.<br />What do I get from this random catharsis on my stupid blog which even I don’t read? What do I get from this? …what do I get from this….? What do I get from this? </p>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-91240758668287846042011-03-18T14:52:00.000-07:002011-05-01T16:56:04.147-07:00Maseehai<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix"><div><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;">Kis qadar udaasi hai...<br />shor kitna hai barpa..<br /><br />iss qadar udaasi mey<br />aisa khat kisay likhoon?...<br />jisko tu na parh paey<br />bin parhay samajh jaey....</span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;">beykali ye yoon kuch hai<br />ik fana ka alam hai<br />urtay phirtay hain kuch gidh<br />pinjer mey taaffun hai</span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;">apni aankh se bach ker<br />koi kub kahan bhagay?<br />zer e lub sifarish hai 'qaid se riha kar dou'<br />haath hai jakar rakha apni aasteeno mey</span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"><br />butt shikan banay phirna<br />tesha yoon liyey phirna<br />tum bhi kya masiha ho?<br />main bhi ik masiha hoon<br />tum mujhay khatam kar dou<br />main tumhain riha kar doon ..</span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;">aur phir shuru kar dien<br />apni hee maseehai ...</span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;">ab nahi raha jaata ...<br />yoon nahi jiya jaata...<br />tum mujhay khatam kardo<br />main tumhain riha kar doon</span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;">aur karain maseehai...</span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span></p><p><span style="font-size:130%;">-Zaofishan</span></p></div></div>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-68113102679119034352011-01-16T20:18:00.000-08:002011-01-16T20:19:00.373-08:00Lost.....<span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman";">So..... I hear people endlessly talk about the latest movies they have seen, the book they have managed to read which nobody else could in such short span of time, I hear the unwanted news about the tv anchors, actors, news reporters, I hear endless gossips, I hear endless suggestions on the way I should dress up, ...and I hear endless immature flattering comments on myself which I neither like nor trust...and then I end up looking back into the time when I was all about this...In fact more worse than I could ever mention. So, all this shouldn't annoy or irritate me. But, I am too mad to be annoyed...I am too lost to be irritated...I am too numb to be enraged ...I have lost my path into a tunnel as empty, shallow and hollow as myself. A tunnel with so much void in it..with so much light in it that it eventually make you go blind and with this blind vision...I wander..I run..I jump ..I scream..... Where is the substance? I need emotions, I need warm, humane conversations about birds, about how does it feel when heart breaks, about rain, about how much your mother loves you, about that incident which made you closer to God or which turned you into a disbeliever, about when you cried your eyes out, about your silliest mistake..Where is that truth? ..where is that purity?...where is that substance....where are those people ....?<br />But, my voice gets lost in thousands of other voices.<br /><br />-Zaofishan....<br /><br /> <br /> </span>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-6637735506195442292010-12-15T20:23:00.000-08:002011-01-16T20:56:17.996-08:00Pain....<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >There is endless pain without any kind of direction. Pain without direction is the most dangerous energy in the world. It traps you in an inexpressive whirl of madness yet it sets your soul completely free and independent. A soul which belong to no place and a soul without a home is like a naked body lying in the snow which gets colder and colder and bluer and bluer with each moment. Its like you are lying on the bed of needles and each needle is piercing you deep inside, one moment you feel intense pain and next moment you don't feel anything you become numb due to so much pain. You become prisoner of your pain. What should I tell you when you ask me that despite of so many people I don't consider anybody my friend?<br /></span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:12pt;" >But, isn't it a chapter in everybody's book of life?. For some people this chapter extends to other chapters and for some people this chapter covers the whole story.<br /></span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >I am scared… I have no motivation to get out of this mess. This scares me the most..having no motivation and constantly engaging into behaviors that are not productive and could lead to destructive patterns. I feel immense pain and I don’t know how to channelize it …I just don’t want to do anything… this scares me…<br /><br /><br /></span><br /><br /><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >- Zaofishan. </span>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-7085984954441382572010-12-14T00:58:00.000-08:002010-12-14T01:01:08.659-08:00LOVE~<div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 102);" class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix"><div><p><strong>Hmmm...I have been thinking a lot on certain issues and I came to a conclusion that, LOVE always exist between souls (All human beings). Sometimes you have to dig deeper to find it. Sometimes you are the only one who have to make an effort and dig. A love story always exists between souls. Its up to you whether you explore it or let it die unexplored. Its upto you that how you design your love story.</strong></p><p> Sometimes relations exist between the souls but love stories start very late between people because they decide to dig very late. For instance, Love story of a daughter-in-law with her mother-in-law, Love story of two sisters, Love story of married couples etc.The crucial question is, Do you want a love story?. The simplest solution is: Design your own. Take initiative.<br /><br /><br /> Love truly and passionately and don't regret if it turned out to be unsuccessful. At least you experienced something which is closest to magic :).Plus, there is no end to any love story. You always cherish and remember it with varying intensity. <br /><br /><br />Zaofishan.</p></div></div>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-15619812950679444522010-10-28T19:45:00.000-07:002011-01-16T20:52:30.308-08:00"skip" option in life.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >I'm wondering that sometimes you choose 'Skip' option in life because you are too tired of the 'pause' button, wanting to get back to the start line while you are at the finishing point. Just to start fresh, but, you fail to do so because there is nothing fresh..there are no aspirations no inspirations no chances. Just... like when you desperately want to write something and there are no ideas in your mind. Its like the train has started to move and you are still standing on the platform..looking at it. Can not decide whether to hop in or to let go every dream, memory and moments with the train.......with each passing moment eyes are losing clarity. It is difficult to let go the world...but it is three times more difficult to find no pleasure in pleasure.<br /></span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman";">You tell yourself that everything is fine and then absorbed in a totally different<br />situation..suddenly you remember something and all that warmth you feel in your heart, run through your eyes. I really wish I knew a language which nobody else could understand....so that I could pour my heart out in words and nobody could read and understand it.</span><br /><span style=";font-family:";font-size:12pt;" >-Zaofishan<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-12228251783220875732010-08-23T10:50:00.000-07:002010-08-23T10:51:45.110-07:00Bipolar nation or Being human?<h3 class="UIIntentionalStory_Message" ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span class="UIIntentionalStory_Names" ft="{"type":"name"}"> </span><span class="UIStory_Message">Do we suffer from Bipolar disorder as a nation? at one time we are weeping for the unfortunate victims around us&just within seconds we r distracted by the utmost happiness about something then we swing toward depression which is followed by our high and false expectations to change everything. So, Do we suffer from bi<span class="text_exposed_hide">...</span><span class="text_exposed_show">polar disorder as a nation? Or is all this called " Being Human" ?</span></span></h3>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-59173173529312088022010-08-20T02:57:00.000-07:002012-10-25T04:36:56.718-07:00What's your plan?<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix">
<div>
Days of floods are here and most of the people I know sadly are in deep despair due to the situation of the city and country. They don't tell me anything apart from the frustration they are experiencing because they feel helpless about changing the scenario. They feel they can not change anything.Some of them are thinking about the reasons why all this is happening. Few come up with reasons concerning religion and few of them blame the big daddies of our Government. Everybody is doing the same thing in different guises--They are all sincerely trying to figure out the reasons. Their worrisome tones and confused thoughts reminds me of all the dark things. So......I asked myself that what I should do now. What should I think? What kind of philosophy should I develop of this whole scenario? I asked myself that is this all so severe that I could actually think of changing my life goal? that I could actually become more serious about life? Shall I read and watch news 24/7 like many other people in hope of developing political sensibility?? In hope of unveiling the secrets of government and their big hidden plans? and what if I actually got to know everything ..what if I manage to catch the picture of whole scenario clearly?Then what? what would be the next step? French revolution?<br />
<br />
<em>So, what should I do?and BINGO! ..how about gaining some inspiration out of the whole scenario? How about using this pain, fear, anger and frustration as a fuel? how about not wasting my time and energy on discussing and reading frustrating articles and watching negative news all day long and utilizing the time and energy to stick to a plan with persistence and consistency?</em><br />
A plan for providing emotional and rational support to your colleagues,students, class mates, cousins etc?A plan for giving your youngsters better ideology instead of trash news channel info?A plan for standing up for others? A plan for focusing on betterment of your self?A plan for cracking 3 jokes per day to lighten up someone's mood?A plan for saving your money to feed the needy ones?A plan for planting suitable plants in the locality?( My environmental science's sir's favorite plan)A plan to write something inspirational?or bigger plans relating to jumping right into the scenario?<br />
<strong>So, what's your plan? ...kya scene hai?</strong></div>
</div>
Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-46336162425639386452010-07-28T21:55:00.000-07:002011-01-16T20:50:04.523-08:00stars...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman";">Are the stars always this magical?<br /><br />.......I'm in love. <br /> <br /> </span>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-14339225647199574372010-06-28T12:57:00.000-07:002011-01-16T20:58:31.681-08:00circumstances, mistakes, people and you.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hmm...I have been thinking that... In a pessimistic sense, Sometimes circumstances and situations can make you or change you into a person which you never wanted to be. Now, Wouldn't it be a little more appropriate for the other people to thank God for not being thrown into such circumstances rather than hating the victims of such situations and circumstances?<br /><br />-zaofishan<br /><br /><br /> <br /> </span>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-20430138167644012852010-04-03T09:15:00.000-07:002011-01-16T20:55:08.375-08:00Realization<span id="profile_status"><span id="status_text">I think that, Love is not about fixating on one person or object.Its the highest form of ART because it can be stretched from ur object of affection towards each and every object in the universe ranging from a mere grain of sand to the unproven existence of the void above the sky. . Love is expansion of ur deepest feelings.. an elevation from the depths of solitude towards the heights of purity<br /><br />I'm in love.....perhaps with an illusion.<br /></span></span>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-1561903420113480652010-02-16T09:55:00.000-08:002010-02-16T09:56:03.355-08:00ARSH se FARSH tak.Zindigi mey mukam tou bauhat se atay hain magar hum zikr sirf un mukaamaat ka kartay hain jo zindagi ke normal yaa phir usual flow mey nahi chaltay. Aisa hee eik mukaam woh hai jub tumhari zindagi mey sub kuch bauhat hee acha honay lagta hai bilkul kisi alif lailwi daastaan ki tarha aur tum sochtay reh jatay ho, samajh nahi aati ke shukar ada kiya jaey..ghuroor kiya jaey ..khushi se naacha jaey..sadqa-o-khairaat ki jaey..jashan manaya jaey..ya aansoo bahaien jaey? Lekin is sub ke ilawa eik aur izhaar..aik aur rawaiyya..ek aur reaction bhee hota hai : "KHAUFF". Lekin yeh reaction usi shaks se baahir aa sakta hai jisay ARSH ka, BULANDI ka tajurba ho chuka ho aur usi intensity se PASTII ki janib safar ka bhi. Yaani Arsh se farsh tak ki musaafat......Woh musafat jo tumharay andar ke khalandaray ..chaltay koodtay bachay ko iss zor se jaga kar patakhti hai ke apnay tamam khilono ke saath saath uski taangie'n bhi chatakh kar reh jaati hai aur woh bey-saakhiyo ka mohtaaj ho kar reh jata hai.<br /><br />Arsh se farsh tak ki musaafat bauhat ziada takleef-deh hoti hai.. tumhain torr phorr deti hai..tumhain batati hai ke tum kitnay helpless ho ..kis qadar haqeer ho. Kya asaan hota hai kisi baadshah ke liey faqeer bun ker rehna? Nahi na? . Arsh per baitha shaks apnay aap mey badshah hee tou hota hai , jo farsh per kisi keeray ki tarha patakh diya jaata hai aur phir woh keera apni zaat ke andheyro mey wahdat-ul-wujood ke noor se jugnu bunta hai..yeh waqt uskay kehnay ka nahi hota..yeh waqt hota hai uskay Sun-nay ka ..har woh shaks jisay woh apni badshahat ke daur mey faqeer gardaanta hai..har woh shaks us se bara ho jata hai..aur woh sirf sunta hai , usay irrationally criticize kiya jaata hai ..beybunyaad bataien us se mansoob ki jaati hai..usay moorad-e-ilzaam thehraaya jaata hai , NAHUQ..NAHUQ, aur woh sunta hai ..sirf sunta hai.<br />Phir waqt aata hai us ke kehnay ka ..us ke FARSH se ARSH tak ke safar ka ..aur woh darta hai ..apnay aap se, apni zaat ke andheyro se..qudrat ki iss meherbaani per samajh nahi paata ke woh suspicious ho yaa khush ho?? <br /><br /> Zaofishan<br />16 feb 2010<br />10:15 pm.Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-80336641321059254282009-12-28T16:21:00.000-08:002009-12-28T16:29:56.363-08:00M.A Jinnah bleeded to death.<h3 style="font-weight: normal;" class="GenericStory_Message" ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span style="font-size:100%;">I'm very unfortunate that last month I got the chance to see Investigative journalist Faheem Siddiqui on Azfar Mani show when he was talking lovingly about his adorable son with moist eyes. Now, would he ever be able to even talk about his son? who died in M.A Jinnah blast today along with other people. I would forget <span class="text_exposed_show">everything within a week but would I be able to forget if it would ever happen to me?<br />What sort of gratification people are getting by burning the livelihood of other people (Bolton market) to ashes?.<br />I can not change this. The only one I can change is myself.<br /><br />Am I forgetting a little too much? am I forgetting to make an important and productive resolution for the new year?<br /></span></span></h3>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-80272931383087490182009-12-18T08:30:00.000-08:002009-12-18T08:31:53.473-08:00Appreciation and CriticismAppreciation and Criticism, both get demented when they are taken to the point of irrationality.Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-14084997260315718452009-12-15T03:57:00.000-08:002009-12-16T15:51:10.399-08:00People come into your life for a reason.<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLltt5cPDOc&feature=related">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLltt5cPDOc&feature=related</a><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 255);font-size:100%;" > <br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> </span></span><blockquote style="color: rgb(0, 0, 102);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">This video reminds me a lot about many sudden, unexpected and strange occurrences in my life and in the life of people around me or close to me.</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >This philosophy is among the very first lessons which I have observed in my life.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" > </span></blockquote><br /></div></div>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-91370911616040750702009-12-14T12:53:00.000-08:002009-12-16T15:51:52.230-08:00Cure.<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >There must be a way to heal the holes in souls. The existence of pain is the evidence of cure. There must be a way.</span>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-32726759384663421532009-12-04T21:26:00.000-08:002009-12-16T15:52:43.405-08:00Reunited.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0P6nnm2oFSnijQPpQt8aCqRUUex8pQY8frnrum4Wm89st3UlQUOEhozbZYdnENsP-MxPya7PzFxj-XtCdd77GH8n4bKONtsdluRLk3nrRlYfooT7_ArIYgDOwfKAPo0Res3rS5wi0ml8M/s1600-h/success.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 389px; height: 404px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0P6nnm2oFSnijQPpQt8aCqRUUex8pQY8frnrum4Wm89st3UlQUOEhozbZYdnENsP-MxPya7PzFxj-XtCdd77GH8n4bKONtsdluRLk3nrRlYfooT7_ArIYgDOwfKAPo0Res3rS5wi0ml8M/s400/success.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411636639597785522" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255); font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >The first and the most easiest step after determining a path for your self is to talk and write about it. Everything at that time seem very easy and perfect and it becomes hard to control the enthusiasm and the urge to move forward from 'talking' to 'doing' .</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255); font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >The practice becomes the second part where you gradually introduce yourself to all the pieces in the puzzle of your path. Its like allowing yourself to enter the cold water gradually. After this step you begin to think that you can envision it far and deep. But with time you realize the flaws of your perception and foresight.But I'm not talking about he processes involved in reaching your goal and I would concentrate on one aspect that made me feel something which is very important to share.</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255); font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Each and every claim we make and every word that we utter gets tested or tricked. The test/trick/trap may differ person to person but all these test have one thing in common and that is their ability to transfer pain into the most fragile aspect of yourself, the ability to HURT you, the ability to break your world by breaking your heart and they do know that what are you most sensitive about and what can be intensely painful for you.</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255); font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Do a favor to yourself in that test phase by living with that pain along with determination.</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255); font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >This pain has the ability to make you negative. It would ask you to abandon your goal and do something negative like indulging into your own self or depending on any sort of addiction etc.</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" > </span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255); font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Use this pain as a fuel for determination not for destruction and don't step back because I'm not stepping back.</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255); font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >If I can reuse to fall into the trap and if I have decided to face it then you can too<span style="font-style: italic;"> and I completely trust that you will.</span></span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255); font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Remember, the one who allows pain to stay silently in his/herself and does not allow it to come out in any form of negativity is always blessed by the gift of Bravery and Chivalry does not necessarily mean tearing lion's jaw apart.</span>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-71418951886069210062009-12-03T17:12:00.000-08:002009-12-16T15:54:17.312-08:00In an attempt to change the Void ..<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_2hEG0C-qkdDs2KfjaRpHgEH6QoSzRWe5AgBmGx3aE_iiNHdLIZFb2xRQJ67ni08GHiuC0HppeP1QVmZ9j10G4tSueJpywD32KXn7v6GRvzpdbC1N3qEksVv3ArbX3h5JQxLfm1VKRolO/s1600-h/sea03.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_2hEG0C-qkdDs2KfjaRpHgEH6QoSzRWe5AgBmGx3aE_iiNHdLIZFb2xRQJ67ni08GHiuC0HppeP1QVmZ9j10G4tSueJpywD32KXn7v6GRvzpdbC1N3qEksVv3ArbX3h5JQxLfm1VKRolO/s400/sea03.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5411188625219766370" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I have pointed out something in myself today which has been unknown for so long. </span> <span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I wanted to change or the better word would be 'Grow', I desperately wanted to grow as a human and I wanted to kick everything evil out of me. But, my desperation blinded me to see something very important within my self. </span> <span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I have been a super assertive, Sarcastic and quick-to-point-flaws kind of person and couple of years ago I realized that I was hurting many people who were slightly extra sensitive. So, I decided to change and I started abandoning and rejecting that part of my self until it faded away. </span> <span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">But now I have decided to be myself again for a while until I figure out a way to modify and integrate these cerebral aspects of my personality with 'something' which would have the ability of balancing these aspects.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);"><br /></span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"></span><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">And why am I thinking of doing this? : Because, I have realized that you can never change yourself by rejecting yourself.</span><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"> </span><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">You have to be yourself in order to change yourself. Because when you start rejecting yourself a void is created as a replacement of your rejected self and friends, Void can not be changed, modified, nurtured or grown. </span></blockquote><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"></span></span>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-91812750955010614302009-12-01T05:07:00.000-08:002009-12-01T05:11:52.587-08:00Unnecessary necessityDon't we complicate simple things when we superficially tend or try to think out of the box?<br />Or when we attempt to over-analyze things/concepts/themes ?Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2192444034112347318.post-13326663618246824952009-11-26T19:04:00.000-08:002009-11-26T23:57:08.891-08:00Greatest tragedy of ...Love.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXV6SfoYyKisc1DQs1sbaArXhaei-a3yuOndNMbg09zjXRnzdIFF55_2H2pf3JDSftK3Gjgyw4uIO43vs3geo1jvZRGkWdmqkGUWEK-Qf6fDZn_ffmoazwVQzzmT32Atk3kZPaHPBTcDEz/s1600/Lilacs-in-a-Vase-c-1882_eduard+manet.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 299px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXV6SfoYyKisc1DQs1sbaArXhaei-a3yuOndNMbg09zjXRnzdIFF55_2H2pf3JDSftK3Gjgyw4uIO43vs3geo1jvZRGkWdmqkGUWEK-Qf6fDZn_ffmoazwVQzzmT32Atk3kZPaHPBTcDEz/s400/Lilacs-in-a-Vase-c-1882_eduard+manet.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5408615886615948146" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Half of the colors in this world and many of the words in every language seem to be invented for the expression of love probably because it is very important to express love and more than that it is not possible to control this expression of love.We never stop expressing it, because we can not and we should not.<br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">But, there is something which I can not understand and I find it a greatest tragedy for 'Love' . It is evident from my exaggerated introduction of love that love is undeniably overrated.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">It is very important to "feel" it because beauty of love truly reveal itself when it is underrated and not "Over-intellectualized". The introductory lines illustrate the intellectualizing of love.</span><br /><br />Now, let me talk about something which is to the point and related to the topic.<br />The greatest tragedy of love started existing when people begun to over intellectualize it without paying much attention to the experience or expression of 'feelings'. Expression or experience of feelings allow you to be very unique in your approach or experience of love which usually does not happen when you emphasize solely on intellectualism.<span style="font-style: italic;"> So, when most of us started to take our feelings for-granted we denied or blocked our very own and unique spirituality: the soul of our soul, the life of our life . And here is where the tragedy begun because from here we start to malfunction and misunderstand 'Love'. In this way most of us don't allow our self for the experience of love at its fullest.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:georgia;">Every human innately knows 'how' to love a person from your heart but the problematic thing is that are you sure this is 'Love' ? sadly, most of us do not know and may never know the answer. The worse case is when most of us tend to misunderstand love forever and later when everything goes wrong their is either 'Love' or 'God' to blame for it. There are many songs on the destruction of Love , aren't there?.</span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;">Ask yourself, could something like 'Love' would be destructive?, No. So, who is this which is making love problematic and destructive for you?, God? or Human?.</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family:georgia;">Actually, according to me anything which makes you realize your inner self your soul, or evokes great goodness in you, or provides you a valuable bond with God, is --Love. And everything which makes you feel shattered and breaks you into pieces or separates you from God and goodness is not love and it can never ever be Love.</span> </span><span style="font-family:georgia;">This, for me is an easy way to truly understand love and to stop making our life tragic in the name of so called love. Being misunderstood is the greatest tragedy for the 'feeling of Love'. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:georgia;" >Only love mystifies a soul and modifies body in soul. If this is not happening with you then try to 'think' and 'feel' the reason. </span><br /><br /><br />_<br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(153, 153, 255);font-family:arial;" >Painting: Eduard Manet 1882.</span></span><br /></div>Zau fishanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04127774513705422845noreply@blogger.com6